Getting Out of My Own Head

As I move into the 7^th week of the 12-week Mindfulness program, I can honestly say that it is helping get me out of my own head. Even when I do slip into auto-pilot, I am aware of it and I start using the steps the program has taught me to bring me back to the present. It isn’t and wasn’t healthy to continue to play over details of things that I couldn’t change both about my dad’s health or the behaviors and actions of those around me during that time. I’m not saying that thinking of those 6 weeks doesn’t still bring me great sadness in the outcome and loss as well as the disappointment and loss of the people that were supposed to be supportive. But I can’t control anything in this world, except how I react to situations. So I am no longer drowning in the grief, however omnipresent it is, but I can still catch my breath enough to move forward. And that’s what I’m doing…moving forward. I will continue to take the memory of my dad with me and it will both bring me sadness and joy. I don’t think there is any way around that. I will continue to check on my mom and brother and maintain the relationships that we have and that we built during that difficult time. And that is the positive that has come out of this tragedy. The strength and love between us is stronger than ever and I have no doubt will endure. But as for me, eyes forward, with my dad in my heart, on my mind and on my hand, but not as a weight but as an additional strength and I will keep moving. And I leave behind the negativity and things that aren’t healthy for me, both in this moment and moving forward. Nothing should be held onto because of obligation, especially when it isn’t good for you.

Now back to week 7, “Exploring Values”. I hope that you can find the joy in your day as well.